Monthly Archives: December 2006

The other night, Fliss offered me my christmas present early because it “wasn’t something I could take to Scotland.” Fair play, thought I – nothing like getting something nice unexpectedly.

Turned out it was a cappucino machine that works with instant coffee. Sweet!

Well, aside from the fact that buying an insomniac a coffee machine is a bit like buying a haemophiliac an acupuncture kit. Still, I’ve wanted one of these for ages, but always considered it too much of a luxury.

As soon as the box was open, I immediately got it plugged in and ran it through a cleaning cycle, before firing in some of my Columbian instant coffee. Turning the dial a quarter turn clockwise inserts a shot of coffee, so I turned it twice for good measure, then turned it the quarter turn anti-clockwise to start the process going. It made all the right sounds, too – lots of hissing and frothing accompanied with a rising plume of steam.

The end result was really good – a very high quality cup, by my standards, considering it didn’t cost the usual Starbucks prices. I was a little wired for the rest of the evening, which is to be expected after drinking strong coffee. Unless a resting pulse of 170bpm is considered normal, I think I’ll buy myself some decaf so that I can make use of it during the week, rather than just at weekens and holidays.

Now, if only I’d thought of something as good to get for Fliss

The orthopaedic pillow experiment ended but a week after it began, as (even more) sleepless nights, coupled with uncomfortable neck pain, had me return to the relative bliss of a regular pillow.

As someone who doesn’t sleep very well, ever, I’m always keen to try out something that might be the silver bullet as far as getting a good night of rest is concerned. I’ve bought a mattress topper to make my bed more comfy, I wear a hat to stop my head getting cold, I wear a sleep mask thing that Fliss & Elisha bought me earlier in the year, and I just about ended up addicted to the nasal spray Otravine this year, due to the fact it helps me breathe through the night. None of which seem to be the key to the vast, towering gates which surround and bar me from the Land of Nod.

Having weaned myself off of the Otravine the week before I picked up the orthopaedic pillow, I really did think that this particular new hope would not only cradle my head and neck in a similar way to which Angelina Jolie’s left breast might, but would keep my airways aligned in a way that would promote a deep and refreshing sleep. Heck, come to think of it, I’d have settled with one out of those two ideals. In the event I got neither.

So I’m almost back to square one. I’m off the Otravine until hay fever season deems it necessary, so that’s good. However, although the regular pillow has been more comfortable to sleep on, I’m still enduring neck pain caused by my brief stint on the fancy orthopaedic pillow – the sole reason of which is to avoid neck pain.

I didn’t even have any bloody neck pain in the first place – I just figured it’d do the trick for my breathing, but no – this cant just be a mild £25 failure – this has to be a spectacular £25 and residual neck pain failure.

I’d wager that Atlantis, the ends of rainbows, Lord Lucan, polite teenagers, the Holy Grail, and, lets be festive here, Santa Claus are all much easier to find than a good nights sleep.